Thursday, May 23, 2013

My Downright Dirty Celebration

Bittersweet~ indeed that is probably the very best word to describe today...the last day working out of this office. In a little over a week I will find myself still working for the same company but out of a new office, 4 hours drive from where I used to work and live.

I packed up all of my personal items and toted them out to my car, piling everything in as best I could. After a final goodbye, I drove away for the last time as a member of that office team. I struggled to remain composed, a million feelings, thoughts and memories flooded my mind in an instant.

This transition time has been emotionally draining...too many "lasts" and so many "firsts" have left us both feeling wrung out and exhausted. I realized while driving home that I had been holding my breath for this day to be over so I could mentally move on...all of a sudden it had happened and now it was time to celebrate!

I saw this nugget yesterday:
Hello past~ thanks for the lessons
Hello future~ now I'm ready

One small item stood in the way of the celebration I had planned...dump day. Do you know how much junk one family can accumulate over the years? Well, let me tell you that we have several truck loads and have not yet cleaned out every nook and crannie.

Hubby drew the long straw by having other plans this evening so it fell on my shoulders to tackle the dump job and gitter' done. The loaded truck was parked in a large machine shed with sliding double doors that are approx. 18 feet high and almost that wide. The wind had really picked up and as I tried to open one of the doors it swung out and away from the frame, almost ripping off the hinges and bending the metal. I was terrified! If that thing came loose it would crush me like a cockroach, kill me, saw me in half right on the eve of us starting a wonderful new life. I saw the headlines flash before my eyes...

WOMAN CRUSHED UNDER METAL DOOR
DUMP TRIP GONE WRONG ON EVE OF HISTORIC MOVE

Darn if those doors were going to kill me! I spread eagle in order to secure both doors and somehow managed to get one side positioned properly and then wedged an old tire against the other side after I'd opened it far enough, praying that it would hold the door in place. I held on for dear life until there was a lull in the gale-force winds, dashed for the truck and screamed out of there as fast as I could.

After managing to close both doors behind me, I drove away SO very proud of myself for a job well done...and all by my little own self no less! HA! Yesssss, miss all that and more.here I come.to the dump.doin the hard core working chore. Shoulda been a poet...or a gangsta...or maybe a wife and matha.Yah, uh huh.

Pulled into the dump and instantly realized I was way out of my element. Many large trucks bearing large men throwing large things into large bins and...me.  One of these things doesn't belong. Never-the-less, I am no shrinking violet and decided that it would be better to fit in than stand out as some kind of prissy woman. So~ I hauled my little truck into gear and ripped over to an open space and proceeded to astonish myself at the speed and strength I displayed for all those macho men to see. I could tell they were impressed until I realized I was dumping stuff into the wrong containers and was being mildly reprimanded by...well, let's call him Leonard for lack of a better name.

God love him, Leonard (the dump dude in charge) saw right through my smoke screen. He came over quickly in order to divert any damage to myself or the premises and directed me to the right area. We started chatting and all of a sudden he was asking me if he could take some of my items home. Of course, dear Leonard, I said to him, one wo-man's junk is another man's treasure! He was such a sweetheart. Probably 70 years old, grizzled and rough around the edges but a gentleman through and through.

It must have been my pent-up stress but I was loving the whole 'chucking things off the back of my truck and seeing them smash into a million pieces' thing! I felt good, powerful, in charge and suddenly very dirty! The guy beside me was sweeping out his truck box after he was done dumping all of his garbage and I was barraged with a load of fine insulation dust, nails, bits of wood chips and other miscellaneous items that stuck to my sweatshirt and hair. Sometimes I don't pay attention to details and so I had inadvertently parked down wind of him and his debris showered me in a continuous stream until he was done.

I was thrilled to be driving away from the Thursday Vega Dump Day (kinda sounds like a good parade name doesn't it??) and upon arriving home figured I would finish the day off well and throw some items into the incinerator from around the yard. I opened the door of the aforementioned and a gust of wind sent a cloud of fine ash into my face that covered me head to toe. Yup, definitely done for the day.

I was amazed at how bad I looked when I got into the house. My day had started out with me being nicely dressed and smelling pretty only to end up with my ponytail skewed sideways with strands of hair going in all directions and a dirt-streaked face. My pitiful looking clothes covered in grime and dirt rounded out the picture nicely along with a couple busted fingernails and a scratch on my hand.

I laughed at the irony of it all...I had wanted to celebrate this day in some grand style...mark the occasion and savor the moment of one chapter closing in my life and another one opening only to end up at the dump. That's when I realized I actually had celebrated, I had literally purged the old in order to make room for the new.

Hello future~ I think I'm finally ready!!
















 

Thursday, May 2, 2013

911...My Life is on Fire!

As many of you know (or heard)(or guessed)(or figured)(didn't care), we are

 
MOVING!
 

It has been a long road of talking about it, thinking on it and trying to decide if it is the right thing. How do we adequately explain this to our friends, family, co-workers and clients?
 
It must be a step up for you in your career, they say...well no, not exactly. You must have something better lined up down there...nooooo. You must know people...not a soul. Are you crazy? Hey~ now you're on to something!
 
Moving sounds so exciting doesn't it? It ranks right up there with fairytales and castles...dreams becoming reality~for some anyway. But then when we start digging under the surface a little we find no glamour in it. Almost as soon as we start thinking about it, we shut it down because we know it will be harder than we ever thought.
 
Unfortunately the shut-down button didn't work for us, no one pulled the plug on the atomic bomb and shouted STOP! WE'RE NOT GOING THROUGH WITH THIS! And so here we are disassembling life as we currently live it, in order to reassemble in another place with other people who we hope we are going to like, and who we hope will like us.
 
 
 

 
 
We have a moving company coming in to pack our life into many boxes. Some they will mark fragile...maybe you were thinking I meant my China. I was thinking more along the lines of all my kids' pictures, paintings and awards. How precious each one of those things are~way more valuable to me than dishes!
 
Some they will mark kitchen/utility...they will hold all of the wonderful memories I have of preparing meals and baking for my beautiful family. The hours spent huddled around the island...surrounded by flour and measuring cups, chocolate chips and cookie dough. Talking about life, building into them the desire to be wonderfully strong yet compassionate people who will change their world.
 
Some will be marked bathroom...hair clips, towells, toiletries all reminiscent of hours spent getting ready to face the world. Some will say "kids' bedroom" and although I should be giving the kids their own things to store, I will take them along as a piece of me that I cannot let go of.
 
Clothing will have already been sorted through as I don't want any moving company to see the range of sizes I carry in my closet. Don't worry...no granny panties! They sold for a good price at the garage sale. KIDDING! I gave them away. KIDDING! I burnt the lot which I am now kicking myself for, they might have come in handy as temporary shelter until we get into our new place.
 
All joking aside, moving is hard work in every sense of the word. Not everyone is happy for you which steals a bit of the joy. It's painful to go through the memories of life you have saved and loving stored in order to decide what stays and what goes. You feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest when you think about the meaningful friendships that you've nurtured. So in answer to the question:
 
 
WHY?
 
 
Here it goes..
 
We are alight with the passion of new discovery and adventure. We long to break out of the ritualistic monotony that seems to have pervaded our lives. We want to stretch and grow, meet new people, build into lives that are lonely and lost and broken. We hold by the disciplines that we raised our family with...FAITH, LOVE, HOPE, not getting stuck but being willing to step out and try new things. All of the great people we have in our lives right now stemmed from a conscious decision we made many years ago to follow God's leading and our own hearts to take on the world.
 
Kevin and I have made a pact. What have we agreed to? Simplicity. True Friendship. Togetherness. Adventure. Deep Love. Spiritual Growth. Lives Lived Well.
 
It all sounds good until we meltdown. When that happens (and it's bound to at some point along the way), please remind us why we are doing this, hug us and tell us you love us. Please pick us back up again and dust us off. Send us on our way with a good, swift kick up the rear and a hearty wave... 
We love you and thank you for building into our lives!